For years, I dreamed of retiring! What Federal employee hasn’t? United States federal employees still have a guaranteed pension plan if they live long enough to work 30 years and reach a pre-determined age. Few industries still offer this type of benefit. Even with the Federal government gutting this benefit back in 1984, it is still a pretty valuable benefit to have. You get a monthly pension, and you have health and life insurance benefits for life. Plus, if you were wise during your working years, you could save money that goes into a 401K account and receive matching funds up to a certain percentage on those savings. Who knew this type of pension plan could draw the ire of others not covered by these same types of benefits?

At the start of my federal career back in 1990, I worked as a Human Resource Assistant for the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA). Part of my work included figuring retirement annuities and completing retirement paperwork for USDA employees. What I always found amazing at the tender age of twenty-five was most employees were very apprehensive about retiring, and they were retiring on the plan that had not yet been gutted. Their benefits were quite substantial if they reached the age of fifty-five, were making a decent salary, and had 30 years of Federal service. However, many were unsure of what the rest of their non-working lives would look like. Many were also worried they would not have enough money to live on. Back in the nineties, most of the people worried about survival were single women who had not earned a lot of money during their working years.

I took these female concerns to heart and acted in ways to mitigate them so I would not have those same concerns plague me at retirement. I moved around the East Coast to ensure I was promoted because at that time my salary was low even though I had a college degree, and I had no idea if I would ever marry. When I finally reached retirement age my salary had increased 11.5 times my starting salary and I was married, but I still wanted to work at least three more years. However, it just did not work out that way for me. I retired at 57 years of age! I worked eight additional months after hitting retirement eligibility. I was not apprehensive about leaving the world of work, and two years into retirement, I can not say this time has not served me well. I thought retirement would be exciting. I planned to travel to foreign countries and start new hobbies I never really had time for when working. Minus the 2024 election results and rising prices, things are going as planned! But, after working for over 33 years for the federal government, it still bothers me that I did not leave on my own terms. I was a bit bitter about that, but as I settled into retirement I got over it.

While I may have gotten over it, I have not forgotten what spawned the bitterness. After 23 years of Federal service in grants management, my work just became unbearable. Well, the work was not the problem, the people were! After COVID, people were in a different head space. Management expected employees to work twenty-four/seven. Plus, grants were always a political football. In some Agencies at that time, Federal grants managers just did not possess the authority to administer grants in a compliant matter. Even after the implementation of 2 CFR PART 200—UNIFORM ADMINISTRATIVE REQUIREMENTS, COST PRINCIPLES, AND AUDIT REQUIREMENTS FOR FEDERAL AWARDS, many Agency Heads just were not accustomed to administering grants properly; and some Black female, like me, was not going to force powerful men to switch up what they had been doing for years even though 2 CFR was codified. All this started to make my life unbearable!

I even spent a year working on a detail at the Office of Management and Budget (OMB), where I was sure the secret of getting Agencies to follow 2 CFR could be found. I left there even more disillusioned. It turned out the secret to compliance was not housed inside of OMB. After changing jobs two more times I decided it was time to leave Federal service. And, as I witness Trump’s second term in horror, I now know that the same problems that plagued me as a Grants Management Chief plague the entire U.S. government.

Creating a law, policy or regulation is worthless if some type of enforcement mechanism is not established and fully funded to ensure that the law, policy, or regulation is followed. Also, if an enforcement mechanism is in place and fully funded, the powers that be must be ready and able to act to ensure it is followed. Today since Congress refuses to use its power to stop a bully, the whole world is living through a nightmarish experience caused by a few powerful people ignoring the American Constitution. It only takes one powerful person to run roughshod over an Agency, Department or Country, and the norms, traditions and laws followed for years will be ignored!!

If ninety-nine people decide they want to follow a law, policy or norm, there will always be at least one person who will decide not too! Without an enforcement mechanism or the desire or will to act upon an enforcement strategy already in place, there will be no recourse for the other ninety-nine people! But what I find amazing, and I understand the American system was built to perform this way, is if a Black or Brown person violates the most mundane of all infractions the full force of the law will be implemented if some powerful person deems it necessary.  This overbearingly cruel and unfair way of operating is on full display in Trump’s America. It is tearing away at the very fabric of American society, while American leadership – Congress, industry, the media, institutions of higher learning, etc., bend the knee and kiss the ring of a would-be dictator.

I know my work was small potatoes compared to what is happening in America now. But the results are the same. American tax dollars are being wasted. Laws and norms are being ignored, while the rich and powerful are reaping the benefits of the tax dollars the middle and lower classes are paying into the system. At this point I don’t think anyone knows how this will all end.

I recently heard that the American Civil War never really ended. There was just a cease-fire agreement. As each day passes, this seems to be true. Fearful of what lies just around the corner for the first time in my life, I am entertaining if I must leave the country of my birth. Will I have to uproot my life and move to a foreign land just to be safe? With the way the winds are blowing I really wonder if any place on the globe is safe. It feels as if we are living in a revolutionary time that will require a major battle just to be safe in our own homelands.

I am not sure my generation or the generations that came after me are prepared for what might be required in the next decade.

Now I laugh as I think about my state of mind when I retired two years ago. I felt like I was forced to leave my job. Now I feel as if I may be forced to leave my country! Looking back, I feel grateful I got out before Trump’s second term. I wonder if I leave my country could I end up feeling grateful as well, to have gotten out before things really go down the tubes further? Or will the system rebound forcing the would-be dictator and his henchman to pay the price of almost destroying 250 years of democracy? When or if this whole mess is resolved I hope America will recognize its mistakes. Racism, hate, and jealousy are vile, horrible practices that will only lead to the destruction of the American citizenry. Allowing everyone to flourish peacefully is the best course of action. Also, traditions and norms are just not going to cut it anymore. Now that the genie has been unleashed from its bottle, laws must be constructed and passed to not only keep the obvious bad guys in place, but the ones parading around as good guys too!

Read your history books and understand the war to be raging at this time is on classism! The rich are working to ensure they grow richer, and for the rest of us, yep, lower- and middle-class white folks too, is to be enslaved. Remember two particularly important biblical commandments and the Golden Rule. The two commandments to remember are: You should not bear false witness against your neighbors, and You should not covet. The Golden Rule is treat others as you wish to be treated. I think if America had chosen to follow these two simple commandments and the Golden Rule, the election would have swung the other way!

The American pie is big enough for us all to share in the incredible wealth this country’s economic engine is creating, if we all could just agree to pay our fair share, and help one another achieve the big and small wins. But instead, we would rather let hatred, racism and jealousy rule the day!

If you are not worried about what is coming next, then you are not paying attention!